Love

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of the word as a guy? Is it kissing, sex, pleasure, self gratification? Love as defined by Webster’s is the following:
1. A strong emotion of regard and affection
2. Any object of warm affection and devotion
3. A beloved person
4. A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction
5. Sexual activities between two people

Now I think we all could agree that when we say we love someone, we feel at least one of the emotions above. The problem is, in this day and age, we equate love with the last two. When we say we love someone, it usually refers to the fact you think they are good looking, a great kisser, or know how to pleasure you. Sadly, this is what most people think love is, when it really comes down to it. Then, as quickly as that “love” is found, we suddenly somehow lose it. Or did we ever have it?

This love I am talking about is a very superficial love. It seeks just the gratification of one person, you. As soon as problems or any complication arises, we see it as our vehicle of escape from an awkward or difficult position. For example, guys leaving their girlfriend because she is now pregnant, or what happens when you find out that they have been cheating on you? That’s even more of a reason to leave them, correct? WRONG!

Now, let’s take a look at what I think real love is. Yes I am a Christian (if you don’t like it suck it up), and it just so happens that I am going to take you to the love chapter of the Bible. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…

Love, true love, will be patient. If the girl wants to take things slow (and I’m not talking about sex), if you really do love her you will take things at her pace, so that she is comfortable. You shouldn’t ever force anything on her or sweet talk her into anything that goes against who she is or her beliefs. In doing this you show kindness, and you will be seen as a gentleman.

A real humdinger for me was the part that says love is not envious. At first glance I wondered how that could be if God is a jealous God, and after all, he does love us. After some research, I found that jealousy is what you get when you are being replaced by someone else. Jealousy in effect, should trigger a want and a desire to protect and woo the woman he loves. Jealousy should make us as guys hope and persevere and chase after that girl. That is what happens between God and His creation. He sees that our time and commitments are elsewhere. Most times though, if we see our girlfriend with another man, we let envy take place. Envy is resenting another for what they have. In a case like that, most guys just envy the other man for taking their girl, because he now, in effect, has someone they want. Envy leads to anger, resentment, un-forgiveness, bitterness, and hatred among other things. Envy destroys love, while jealousy can build it.

True love is not one of self gratification, as today’s society portrays it. Lets get one thing straight, you don’t have sex with your girlfriend because you love her…you do it because you just want to get some of that. You want to feel pleasure and satisfy your own needs. If you really love the girl, you would respect her and yourself enough not to jump at the first opportunity you have. If you really love her, why don’t you wait and marry her. Then after that you can have sex all you want. But please, don’t try to deplete the world’s supply of condoms before you get there!

Going back to the point I made about abstinence earlier, there are two types of love. Agape love and Eros love. Eros is the love that a husband and a wife show toward each other (not two men, or two women). It is human love that results in physical demonstrations.

Agape love however, is something deeper and much more profound. It is the type of love that God loves with. Agape love makes someone worthy by the strength and power of its love. Agape loves in such a way that makes the person beautiful. It needs no reason to love, it is a love that gives, and it shakes us when needed. Agape sacrifices itself, gives itself away, it dies to itself. Agape love seems so foreign to us, because it is the embodiment of respect, honor and totally sacrifice. These are three character traits that have all been but lost in our generation.

So let us show love with an agape love. Let us show them that they are worth our affection and admiration. Let us put these truths into practice. You know, most girls dream of the fairy tale love. This is where the seemingly perfect world is shattered. Then her hero and rescuer come to save her and sweep her off her feet. Though most guys don’t dress in tights and prance around on horses like in the fairy tale movies, we can take something more out of it. The prince NEVER oversteps his bounds. He is always respectful and looks to please his beloved. We can be that prince the girl is looking for. As guys we can show her respect and agape.

Agape