What is your motivation?

Please think about these questions for a few minutes.

What drives your actions? When I say actions, I'm not referring to life altering decisions per se. Think about your daily routine. It could be the shows you watch, or the games you play. What about the friends you hang out with, or the overall mundane things that occupy your time.

Now ask: "Why?"

Why do I watch those particular shows? Could it be that you don't really watch it because the plot is enticing, but because deep down inside you know this episode will have its fill of steamy sex?

Why do you hang out with your friends? Is it because you have found you can be someone else with this particular group? Or maybe, just maybe, you initiate friendships with people just because you have a little inkling they may become famous one day? After all, it could be really cool to mention that you knew so and so from way back in your "glory days. "

Why do you spend time with God? Could it be that daily devotionals have turned into just one more point on your checklist before you can rest and go to bed, instead of a pleasure filled activity of coming to know the Almighty God? Is your time with God a religious duty that you feel obligated to fulfill?

I am reminded of Romans 12:2 which states, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." In everything there is an inclination behind it. I have found often times that our actions are driven by motivations and desires within us that have been premeditated. Sadly, if we scrutinize every area of our lives, we may find that many acts are not driven by a pure and holy predisposition that upholds the standard set in Romans. Why is this? Simply, it is a failure on our parts to humble and make ourselves vulnerable to the work of the Holy Spirit within us. We believe that allowing Him a vote on our life changing decisions (such as marriage, career choice, etc.) is enough. What we don't realize is that He wants TOTAL control, even of the most uneventful areas of our lives. Yet we insist on just limiting Him anyways. It's as if we say, "You can only have part of me." I personally don't think this sits very well with a jealous God.

David understood the importance of having his motivations derive from God's heart. In one of my favorite passages in Psalm he declares, "Keep you servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me, Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression. May the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer. " (Psalm 19:13-14) Furthermore in Psalm 139:23-24 he fervently asks God, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."

David broke himself and made himself completely vulnerable to God. He held nothing back. Despite everything bad thing he did, he was constantly allowing God to come in and transform his desires and motivations. Even though he was as sinful as the next person, he understood the importance of evaluating his life. This is why he is known as a man after God's own heart.

Become vulnerable before Him.

Letting Go...Leaning back

Just. Let. Go. Those were the words repeated over and over to me the first time I went rappelling. I had always wanted to rappel, yet while standing over the edge, I couldn't seem to stop holding onto the bar that was anchored into the side of the cliff. Finally, after a few minutes, I conquered that fear. I was free to finally descend the 200 foot cliff....or so I thought. Then the next instructions were given. Just. Lean. Back. "Are You Kidding?!" I thought. However, little did I know, one must lean back on the rope to be able to descend correctly. This minimizes the risk of slamming face first into the mountain side...which I have learned by watching George of the Jungle, is not an experience you want to have. Once I leaned back, it wasn't as bad as I had first thought. I quickly bounced backwards until reaching the bottom. If I could sum up the experience into a word...Amazing! For the record, I would do it all over again. My time on that rope ignited an excitement for anything that involves ropes and cliffs.

As I look back on those instructions given by the guide, I realize that God is often times calling us to LET GO and LEAN BACK. What is your anchor, so to speak? What is keeping you from leaning back and trusting in God? I know the feeling of fear and reservations that many may have when presented with those questions. I too, deal with those questions quite often in my own walk with Christ. Guess what? We aren't alone in this struggle of life.

Gideon...just hearing this name probably evokes thoughts of cowardice and an overall puny attitude. He was visited by The Angel of the LORD and told, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior." (Judges 6:12) This was his instruction to Let Go. Yet he responded with doubts and fears. (This story is found in Judges 6-8.) Finally after reluctantly giving into God's calling, he was instructed to Lean Back. (Judges 7:2-3) This presented itself in the form of whittling down his army of around 32,000 men to a mere 300. Along the way, Gideon was fearful and hesitant at every turn. It seems that with every command he was given, he had a test for God, just to make sure he was heard correctly. Yet, somehow he learned to trust in God. The sissy we see at the beginning of chapter 6 has grown into his role and has progressed in extraordinary ways. The story of a coward was turned into one of a hero, etched into the eternal pages of God's Word.

Another example of this topic is, of course, Jesus. All through his ministry, Jesus knew that everything would end up at a crucial crossroad...His death. Without a doubt, His biggest test was the cross. Matthew 26:39 portrays a gruesome and fearful moment in Jesus' life, "...My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will. " With His submission, He effectively taught us that letting go and leaning back into God's will is the scariest and possibly the most painful thing we may have to endure. Once He made the decision, He never looked back and questioned if it was the right choice or not. He plunged over the edge, so to speak. His decision to trust was one that has changed the outcome and empowered generation upon generation from that moment forward.

Again I ask, what is holding you back from making the decision to fully trust in God? Is it because you have slowly reasoned your way out of pursuing God's calling? Or maybe, you are simply scared of what others around you would say...or is it what people around you are advising you not to do? All throughout the Bible we see clear examples of people at different cliffs in their lives. Some take the plunge, others hold back. Notice though, the ones that hold back and don't fully obey God, stay in their comfort zone. Nevertheless, they are slowly destroyed. Their lives wither away into nothingness. They have a miserable existence.

It is easy to see those in the Bible that do decide to trust in God have a more difficult road ahead of them, compared to those who don't trust. However, through the difficulties they encounter, a passion is stirred within them. It is a passion that propels them on to fall more deeply in love with God. It is a passion that can only be experienced when one lets go of all reason and logic, just to lean back and trust that God will be all you need.

My generation is known for its zeal and fervor. Imagine, if we were to finally let go of all that anchors us in and throw ourselves into the unknown. Despite the pain. Despite the fear. Despite the loneliness that may accompany this decision. At least we would be living in dedication to the One who set the example for us. I guarantee it wouldn't be our last decision to lean back. In fact we would be driven by a hunger to see Him move in every area of our being.

We would be unstoppable.

Loyalty

Loyal: as defined by Webster's Dictionary, is the following:

1. Unswerving in allegiance: as

a. faithful in allegiance to one's lawful sovereign or government

b. faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due

c. faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product

Loyalty...When this word is mentioned, what comes to mind? For me, I think of the thousands of loyal fans that paid thousands of dollars per ticket (tickets for Superbowl XLV ranged anywhere from around $2k to $23k and higher), to see a championship game in which a pigskin is thrown around by a bunch of oversized men running around in tights.

Of course, we should bring it a little closer to home, since I will assume that not many got a chance to be at the game and spend exorbitant amounts of money. Maybe your loyalty lies in a T.V. show. Hours every week are spent in front of a Magic Box, which for an undetermined amount of time, allows us to sit back and forget our problems and live in a world that seems so much better than our own. Maybe your loyalty is the bar. How many hundreds, or even thousands of dollars, were spent in the bar this past month? What about watching porn every night? Forget the obvious things mentioned above, are you loyal enough to wake up at 4 a.m. to get an early start on your day so you can hit the slopes or go fishing?

Faithful...that was the key word in the definitions provided above. No matter where you are in life, there is something you are loyal too, besides God (if God is even in the picture at all). You are human. Its only natural to have things to which you fill your time with, right? I hope that the previous paragraphs hit home for you in one way or another. If not, stop reading right now, and think about something you faithfully do. Maybe its getting on Facebook every single day, playing Xbox, or staying up all night to study. What, in your life, do you show faithful devotion to?

Whatever the case might be, notice how easy our loyalty to these things is bought. Now think about this. How hard is it, for you, to be loyal to God? When your in church, and the pastor is bringing up ministry opportunities, how often do you say, "I don't have time for this, therefore I am not going to get involved." Moreover, what if God gives you a vision, but you don't see how you can accomplish the goal, leading you to give up before you started.

Let me be more forthcoming. It boggles my mind that we have to BEG Christians to do anything! Its as if their time is on loan to God. Therefore the Church has to bribe "volunteers" by providing free lunches, comfortable working conditions, or special recognition in front of the whole congregation. It is absolutely absurd! Notice how you don't have to beg a drunk to go serve his god every day. Do you think you have to plead with a sports fan to stand up and show a little enthusiasm while his/her team is winning? Yet during worship time we are hardly awake, as if the fact that we have been rescued from certain death means nothing to us!

It is thrilling for hunting enthusiasts to wake up at 4 in the morning to prepare for a long day of stealth-fully stalking prey. Yet for Christians, 4 a.m. is time for essential sleep, not seeking His face for the trials that lie ahead. Then again, when in our busy lives do we ever have time for God. Once in a while, when we have a moment of boredom in our lives filled with unnecessary noise, we might spend five minutes in prayer. God-forbid we carve out a time between running children to soccer practice and work to just stand still and acknowledge His presence.

Loyalty...Its something that needs to be awakened in our lives. Loyalty like Abraham, who at the cost of all logic and hope of obtaining the promise of God, obeyed anyway and put Isaac on the altar. Loyalty like that of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Even though being faced with the threat of burning to death, they answered by saying the following,

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

(Daniel 3:17-18)

Loyalty, like Jesus, which drove Him to the cross. Loyalty like Felicitatis who suffered persecution under Marcus Aurelius in A.D. 162. She refused to deny Christ, as did her sons. For that, her sons were executed one by one (by various means of torture). Finally Felicitatis was beheaded with the same sword that killed 3 of her sons.

If you gave all for Satan, there is no option for us, we better give all for God. If only God could find people who are loyal enough to serve Him, He will use us mightily. Yes, it is a scary step. Yes, it is uncomfortable. Yes, it will cost us everything we have.

Yet it is the least we can offer.

In the Secret Place

Many books of the Bible are often misused or misunderstood. Therefore they don't get the kind of fanfare that other books do, such as Genesis, Psalm, or the Gospels. Old testament books (like Leviticus, Numbers, and Song of Solomon) seem to be thrown out of the mix more often than not. When you think of it, it is pretty sad, because there is so much daily application that we are missing from these books.

For a little while now, I have been going through Song of Solomon. However, I have put a different twist on it. Instead of reading it as a man and woman speaking, I read it as if God Himself was whispering these words directly to me. Now before I proceed any farther, I know that this is a book for lovers. It seems appropriate though, since we are the bride of Christ, to become acquainted with our Lover. Here are just a few notes that I have come away with.

One of the chapters that impacted me the most is Song of Songs 5:2-6

² I slept but my heart was awake.

Listen! My beloved is knocking:

“Open to me, my sister, my darling,

my dove, my flawless one.

My head is drenched with dew,

my hair with the dampness of the night.”

³ I have taken off my robe—

must I put it on again?

I have washed my feet—

must I soil them again?

⁴ My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening;

my heart began to pound for him.

⁵ I arose to open for my beloved,

and my hands dripped with myrrh,

my fingers with flowing myrrh,

on the handles of the bolt.

⁶ I opened for my beloved,

but my beloved had left; he was gone.

My heart sank at his departure.

I looked for him but did not find him.

I called him but he did not answer.

Ashamedly, I feel as though I can relate to this passage all too many times. This, however, is exactly what God does. He stands at the door of our hearts, knocking, desiring for us to open. How many times have you said, "Go away, I'm tired" or "I'm too busy to spend time with you right now." Laziness and apathy have overtaken us. Time and time again we tend to shut God out. Then when we search for Him, it seems as though sometimes we can't find Him.

It is a very sad state of affairs when Christ is shut off from our lives and used as a genie of sorts, summoned by our every command. Who are we to pretend to lock God, the creator of the Universe, in a little box safely hidden away until a more convenient time (read Job 38-41 to get an idea of the greatness of God http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+38&version=NIV)? Has it ever occurred to you that in the moments when God seems to not answer, that you have pushed Him away rather than Him just maintaining silence on an issue?

Another passage that has really spoken to me is found in Song of Songs 8:6-7

⁶ Place me like a seal over your heart,

like a seal on your arm;

for love is as strong as death,

its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

It burns like blazing fire,

like a mighty flame.

⁷ Many waters cannot quench love;

rivers cannot sweep it away.

If one were to give

all the wealth of one’s house for love,

it would be utterly scorned.

This passage automatically takes my mind back to Romans 8:37 where Paul declares that NOTHING can separate us from the love that Christ has for us. His jealousy for you is intense. He desires all of you! When we break away to sin or find our meaning in a guy, girl, technology, whatever your idol is, it breaks His heart. The love He lavishes on us is incomprehensible. Yet we still take pride in acting like the very thing that He has saved us from. To see that disobedience and hate, especially from Christians, towards God makes me appreciate the fact that He still can love us. Yet at the same time it makes me wonder just how much more terrifying Judgement Day will be. To know that despite His love, we crucified Him again, and again, and again.

I encourage you to go through the Song of Songs again, and read it all...make notes on the side of the page, and notice how the lovers interact. This should set a guideline of how our relationship with Christ is. Posted below is a song that, while it is getting older and older, it still holds a valuable truth for all of us. No matter where you are or who you are, we all need to have a secret place where we seek and become more intimate with God. I challenge you to turn off the iPod, e-Bible, and sermons. Spend true quality time with God, ALONE. This is very hard to do, however the benefits far outweigh the costs.

Become intimate.

Hell's Flames, Heaven's Gates

The other night I had a nightmare. I remember waking to a sense of fear and hopelessness. Once I woke, and the initial shock had worn off, it caused to me to start thinking about Hell, of all things. Then I realized the sense of dread that I had felt in that same moment, is one that millions are experiencing every day (except on a much greater scale), once they hear the words, " I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers." (Matthew 7:23)

In an age of political correctness and tip toeing around sensitive issues, I believe my generation has become desensitized to the real issues at hand. Fact is, Hell is a real place, and there are people spending their eternity without God, because we REFUSED to speak up. We didn't want to step on anyone's toes, because, "What if I have to defend my faith." or "I might offend someone's beliefs." My least favorite one is when my generation has taken to the asinine idea that somehow living like the world will show them how cool Christianity is, and how little effort it takes to get to Heaven.

Wrong...guess what, in the world's view, it sucks to be a Christian. I mean who would really truly want to give up life's riches and ambitions to surrender it all and take on a nature that is totally contrary to the environment in which we have been raised? Yet in our attempt to be nonchalant about the whole topic, we aren't attracting anyone to Christ. In fact we might as well be pushing them closer to Hell.

Fast forward to the day you die and stand in front of God. You no longer have your Apple computer or Xbox 360 in front of you. All the hours spent on Facebook and in the gym working out have faded away. Your multiple sex partners aren't by your side. Cars, trivial theological arguments, and our self inflated pride completely melt. It's you and God. As He gazes on you, you stand in awe of His majesty. Its a moment of complete, peaceful bliss, where you stand with your Creator. Then all of sudden, it fearfully hits you. The realization of what He is about to ask is to much for you. With all stripped away, you are bare before Him. You realize that excuses won't work here. Then He asks the inevitable, "What did you do for me? How many did you rescue from the very grasps of Hell's flames? How many did you lead to My Gates?" You break down weeping because you finally come to the realization that what we thought was important, is secondary to the real issue.

I for one am guilty. I have passed by poor people who are in desperate need of help, in an attempt to get to Wal-Mart so I can buy extra food for myself. That's probably one life that has been lost. In my selfishness I passed up a need and a chance to forever change someone's life. Their blood is on my hands because I failed to act. How many people, within your sphere of influence, have you let slip away? Be aware, you are responsible for those you come into contact with. Be driven with the passion that sent Jesus to the cross.

If we claim to be Christians, yet deny the very essentials of becoming like Christ, how are we any different from those who aren't in Him? I pray this is a wake up call for those who read this, because I fear that many will have a rude awakening, when they are actually told,

" I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers."

The Story of a Lifetime

What I am about to share with you is a view into my past...a snapshot into a defining moment of my life, if you will.

I was youngster, at the tender age of ten. I had already accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Early on, my parents had instilled in me the importance of living a devoted life to Christ. As many of you know, it's not easy trying to live up to such standards. I'll admit I was a bit legalistic and ignorant of many things at the time...what else would you expect from a ten year old that just wanted to live according to the Bible.

Having grown up in a Christian environment, it was only a matter of time until I heard about the unpardonable sin. This is based on Mark 3:29, which says, "But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." Now, for those who take the Bible in a literal manner, this causes a deep introspective look at one's life....I don't know, maybe it only happened to me. Aware that I was ignorant on the subject, I sought out advice from my dad. I'm sure he was surprised by the question. Think about it, what ten year old asks that kind of question any ways? In an effort to make it simple for me to understand, he said that the unpardonable sin, is basically calling Jesus "stupid."

I meditated on it for a couple of months. However, on a family trip to Panama City (actually in Panama...not that wannabe place in Florida:), things took a turn for the worse. As I mentioned before I was a bit legalistic in the sense that I wanted to make sure that I didn't do anything that would constitute as blaspheming the Holy Spirit. I thought, that if I would even think the thought "Jesus is stupid," that would automatically send me to hell. Anyways, we were staying in a hotel as we visited some of my mother's family in Panama. While in that hotel, I really do think there was some kind of demonic presence there. All of a sudden, during our stay, I became even more paranoid of trying not to think this particular thought. As the days wore on, the torture in my mind became even more intense. There was a war going on inside my head, and eventually I gave in, and thought the unthinkable.

One day, my family and I spent some time on the roof of the hotel, while waiting for the laundry to finish. As anxiousness continued to tear away at me, I confirmed with my dad (who was not aware of the battle going on in my mind) that Mark 3:29 did indeed refer to calling Jesus stupid. Confirming the already known, I separated myself from my family. I went to the part of the roof that overlooked the front of the hotel. As I did, the enemy, using my limited knowledge against me, began to fill my mind with thoughts that, at the time seemed rational. These thoughts were presented in the third person, but I eventually came to own them. Thoughts such as, "You might as well throw yourself off this building." "Whats the point of living? I'm going to hell anyways, so I might as well spare God, my parents, and myself the hassle of living any longer." "God hates me."

I began to pace the roof. I remember distinctly going to the right side of the building...there was another building there...I wouldn't be able to throw myself off there. So I went to the left side of the hotel...down below was an alley, however there were a bunch of dumpsters. I figured that I could easily throw myself off there, but I was afraid the dumpsters would break my fall and I would live. Finally, I came to the front of the hotel. There was nothing in my way! In fact, I could imagine what would happen after I threw myself off. I could see the headlines of the following day, "American boy throws himself off of a hotel in the middle of the City." As the attacks on my mind got worse, chaos and desperation ensued. I became more determined to end everything then and there. I can remember as if it were yesterday, my leg muscles tensed as I was bending so I could jump off. My mind was so clouded with the barrage of thoughts, I didn't sense any fear of jumping.

Just as I was about to climb on the ledge, there was a lone thought that crossed my mind. Like light at the end of a very dark tunnel, it said, "What if your wrong?" This stopped me for just a second. This thought was the needle that penetrated through all the chaos in my mind. It was as though it released medicine into my system. The thoughts that came after that were not thoughts of suicide and condemnation, they were thoughts of love and compassion. Even though the voice wasn't audible I knew it was God. The thoughts came one after another saying, "Stephen, I love you. I forgive you. You are mine and I have an amazing plan for your life." His words sent sweet relief all throughout my body. The agony that I experienced had subsided and I began to cry. Again I approached my parents and they could tell something was wrong. I told them that I had been worried that I had committed the unforgivable sin (I did not tell them until years later that I had actually thought about killing myself). Once we arrived home, a couple days later, my dad and I went out and he explained in greater detail what this specific verse reference was talking about.

You may ask why I would, on a public network, share such a personal story? I do realize that there will be people out there that may criticize and will claim to have all the theological and psychological answers as to what happened. I don't care. I do know one thing though, the message I received on the ledge of that hotel was not meant just for me. There are so many people out there living in sin, doing they want (teetering on the line of being indifferent), oblivious to the fact that God is trying to get their attention, or maybe your going through a really hard time in your life. Let my story be a lesson to you. God loves you so much and if you would only give yourself completely to Him, He would begin using you in ways that you could never imagine! If your reading this, It doesn't matter if your life is perfect at this point or if your in shambles right now. There is always one common denominator. God has you in the palms of His hands. Your life is precious to Him. Surrender everything you are, to truly gain all that He is.

Remember, we are all small and insignificant, however that doesn't stop a great, awesome, and more than capable God from using us.

Surrender completely.

Tik Tok

I'm sitting in complete silence...except for the clock ticking on the wall, above my left shoulder. The ticking is a reminder of how quickly every second passes by.

Did you know that most estimates show that nearly 1.7 people die in a second. Just for arguments sake, I'll round it to 2. This means that there are 120 deaths around the world in one minute. This leads to a daunting 7,200 deaths in an hour. In one day 172,800 people die, while at current estimates, 63,072,000 pass into eternity every year. Tik tok.

Faced with these facts, my curiosity gets the best of me. Just how many of these 63 million+ souls go to heaven after death? How many are we letting slip through our grasp into the flames of eternal damnation?

I've found that most in the church lack motivation. Simply put many do not have the compassion that drove Jesus to the cross. Often times in church, it is easy to get caught up in the moment of "worship." We say, "God, I desire to know your heart! Let me reach the nations!" There is a full knowledge that something needs to be done...but not right now, right now is for someone else to take charge of.

Compassion is defined as the following: a human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. Jesus was moved by the pain of the people. He would seemingly go out of His way to comfort others. There were many opportunities in which Jesus was thrown into what we would call inconvenient situations, such as the feeding of the four thousand in Mark 8 or throngs of people swarming Him as He sought solitude with the Father in Matthew 8.

Seeing just a few of Jesus' examples, how dare we ask Father for a closer and deeper relationship with Him if we are going to sit around and be disobedient to His heart's desire. Often times we want to see great miracles and lives forever change on just 1 minute of prayer everyday. This is laughable.

Have you ever noticed how in ancient times miracles seemed to be more in abundance, lives more easily changed? Am I the only one who has thought about why more visible miracles happen on the mission field than here at home? Its very easy. Even though Daniel didn't have internet, he still had the distractions of being an administrator of Babylon. Incredibly he found time to pray and seek God at 3 different times during the day. As a result he came out unscathed from a den of lions. Even though Jesus didn't have a cell phone to keep in touch with the disciples, he was busy training up followers and caring for others...He was a mobile Dreamcenter, if you will. Yet He would forcibly remove himself from the public spotlight, to seek His Father's will. To bring it home, in today's age there are as many excuses for distractions as there were back then in Jesus' time. It all comes down to a matter of priorities. Compassion isn't one of those priorities because it requires commitment. Since we don't commit, we aren't disciplined in our Father's business. I would wager to say that we spend more time learning and memorizing regulations for the companies we work for than we do for the Bible.

The short and sweet of it boils down to this, if you are really passionate about rescuing as many souls as possible from the grasp of Hell your priorities would shift. We would put down our iPhone, books, or work to seek the Father. During that time we would become compassionate and as a result more concerned about every soul that passes into eternity. What I'm going to wear to a date tonight or what form of entertainment I want to pursue would soon become trivial in our lives as we become more sensitive to the Spirit.

Just to put things into perspective, during the movie Inception, which is two hours and twenty eight minutes long, 17,760 people slip into eternity. Those are 2 hours that you could've spent on the streets changing a life. While at work during a normal eight hour day, 57,600 pass away. You may say,"But Stephen, surely you don't expect us to quit work to go elsewhere...I have a family to provide for." Well yes, however how many of your co-workers know Christ? Even though we can't stop people from dying, we can certainly help determine their destination. By the time you read this post, it took you approximately 2 minutes 40 seconds. Three hundred and twenty just walked into eternity. We need to become so compassionate that we aren't afraid to go the most needy, even if they are the people in the apartment next to you. As I sit here, the ticking continues...

Tik tok...two more slip away...